Once upon a time there was an Emperor who was very rich, very vain, and exceedingly foolish. In his country emperors were elected every four years, and because many of the people had become tired of voting for Emperor after Emperor, only to find that the new one wore the same clothes as the last one, he promised that if they voted for him, he would wear a new set of clothes.

“Vote for me,” he said. “I’ll put on my new clothes to drain the swamp that’s been bothering you all. And I’ll stop getting involved in fighting wars with countries that pose no threat to us and which I can’t even find on a map. I’ll be a great Emperor with unbelievable new clothes.”

Now his pledge to wear a new set of clothes made the media and the establishment very nervous, for they saw that it meant the end of their plans to grow the swamp and fight more wars. But despite trying every trick in the book to stop the people voting for him, millions completely ignored them and voted for him anyway, even though he was known to be a narcissistic boor.

Now it happened that just after he was elected and was about to put on his new clothes, a group of Weavers of Fantastic Yarns came and asked for an audience with the Emperor:

“Oh great and glorious Emperor,” they said. “Has there ever been as fine an Emperor in all the world?”

This they said to flatter him, knowing that he was as vain as a peacock and wouldn’t realise how ridiculous it sounded, given that he’d only been Emperor for a few minutes and hadn’t yet done anything, for good or ill. It worked. Quickly the Emperor Tweeted that some people had said he was really great.

“Sire,” continued the Weavers of Fantastic Yarns, “it is our humble duty to inform you that the clothes you are wearing, which you have told everybody are new, are in fact not new at all.”

The Emperor looked up from Twitter with a look of surprise on his face:

“Not new?” Whaddya mean not new?”

“They are in fact old clothes,” they continued. “Very old.”

The Emperor sat open-mouthed, not knowing how to respond, and so they continued.

“Did not the first Emperor warn against getting involved in ‘foreign entanglements’?”

“He did?”

“Indeed Sire,” said the Weavers. “And did not another of your predecessors say that a nation committed to liberty ‘goes not abroad in search of monsters to destroy’ but ‘is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all?’”

“He did?”

“Yes, your majesty,” replied the Weavers. “And that was two hundred years ago. So you see, when you say that you want to stop fighting wars abroad, and get along with other nations, you must understand that these are not new clothes at all, as you have been led to believe, but rather very old and worn indeed.”

And so the poor Emperor, who prided himself in his appearance, who hated the thought of anyone thinking his clothes old and shabby, and who had thought his clothes were very new – “very, very new and unbelievably beautiful” as he repeatedly told people – looked flummoxed. He was about to go onto Twitter to take out his anger on the lying media and fake news, when the Weavers presented him with an idea:

“If we might make so bold, your majesty,” they said. “Why not let us weave you a fine set of new clothes? We are Weavers from the Guild of the Neocons, certified by the Deep State, and we can make you a splendid new suit in no time at all. It will be a suit to make you admired by everyone, and even the mainstream media, who currently hate you, will say that you are wonderful.”

“They will?” said the Emperor, his eyes lighting up at the thought of being universally loved.

“Of course,” said the Weavers. “So too will the establishment.”

“It will?” said the Emperor. “But didn’t I promise to drain it?”

“Yes, but isn’t it better to just get along with everyone?” replied the Weavers. “And besides, if you don’t do what they say they might have to have you killed or impeached.”

And so the Emperor agreed to let the Weavers of Fantastic Yarns make him a new set of clothes. To his surprise, they already had the apparel ready, made to measure, as if they had known that he would agree with their plan. As he stood in front of a mirror admiring himself, the Weavers poured flattery over him like maple syrup from a bottle:

“The clothes are indeed beautiful,” they said, “but on anyone else they would look rather ordinary. Whereas on your majesty, they look unbelievably fine. You are indeed now the most radiant Emperor the world has ever known.”

The Emperor agreed with their assessment and immediately went on to Twitter to tell everyone how Bigly Beautiful he looked.

Now there came a day when the Emperor was dining with an Emperor from overseas, when he decided to try on his new clothes. As soon as he put them on, he dropped his spoon, which he had been using to eat the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake you’ve ever seen, and then dropped 59 missiles on a sovereign country, for no apparent purpose, although he thought it made him look kinda tough. Immediately, the media and the establishment stood to applaud him, and said what a fine Emperor he was.

“Amazing,” thought the Emperor. “These new clothes sure are great. Really, really great. Now even the lying media thinks I’m a proper Emperor.”

A few days later he decided to try on the new clothes once more. This time, the clothes caused him to drop one of the most enormous bombs ever seen, again for no apparent purpose, other than showing off.

“What a great Emperor he is,” cried the media and the establishment almost wetting themselves. “Doesn’t he look splendid in his new clothes?”

Overjoyed at the praise of his former enemies, a few days later the Emperor once again put on his new clothes, and this time he started saying threatening things in order to needlessly stoke up tensions against a country that possessed nuclear weapons. Once again, the media and the establishment swooned with joy at the prospect of conflict.

“The Emperor has been brought to heel,” they said. “And it didn’t take long, did it? If he carries on like this we might even agree to stop all the absurd conspiracy theories we’ve been carrying on about him since he was elected. Just as long as he carries on doing what we tell him to do of course.”

And so whenever the Emperor put on his new clothes, spoons were dropped, threats were made and bombs went off in all sorts of faraway places, just to make sure everyone knew who was boss. And the media and the establishment, who had been worried about what he might do to them, breathed a sigh of relief that the Emperor now did pretty much what they wanted him to do. And of course they encouraged him to put his new clothes on as often as possible.

But one day, as he was holding a rally to brag about his achievements and to show off his new clothes, a little boy stood up and pointed to the Emperor, saying:

“Look everyone. The Emperor hasn’t got new clothes on at all. He’s wearing the same old clothes that the Weavers of Fantastic Yarns from the Guild of Neocons have been spinning for decades now.”

And as the little boy was ejected roughly by security, many in the crowd who had voted for the Emperor realised he was right. Same old clothes. Same old policies.

3 thoughts on “The Emperor’s Old Clothes

  1. Neo-conservatism, direct descendants of Trotskyism, are a tool of Zionism, (as was Trotsky). As is Western Democracy (religious liberty – putting Truth and error on the same footing – Pius IXth) and the Vatican II counter-church (the Jews have their own path to salvation). In fact go back far enough – it was a Zionism (Dutch bankers) that financed Cromwell and destroyed true Christianity in England, and another Jew (Calvin) who polluted (Judaicized) Protestant theology. The Catholic Church – the real one, not this “abomination of desolation” (the New Mass) which has been foisted upon the world since the 1960s is true Church of Christ and the only answer to myriad of evils men who prefer their own lights fall into. It is really just as simple as that.

  2. One more post that shows that your ideas are guided by hate towards socialism which through cherry picking you connect to neoconservatism (that’s why I linked your strategy to Dawkins’). Hate is a bad guide!
    First there is quite some misunderstanding about neoconservatism. I looked for an article that took the opposite side and contains “some” truth:
    http://www.nationalreview.com/article/429255/neocon-outdated-term
    What is important here is that the policy of intervention and regime change now defended by neocons have been inherent to American politics since its very existence. Basically it has never been anything else than a polite and covered form of colonialism.
    Secondly it is wrong to focus solely on the neocons. The most active and most evil organization since the nineteenth century is political zionism. And the neocons as being pro-israel and mostly Jews, have an incestuous relationship with the zionists and design plans for the conquering of the Great Israel (example the “clean break plan”).
    But more players are involved and all of them fall for the idea of the Great Israel (an idea from Herzl and Hess) or you may say the conquering of the Promised Land (once again!). Fierce proponents of the idea are also Christian Zionists (political conservatism). And there are opponents of the idea too for ex Neturei Karta
    In real life this world cannot be ruled by one organization, no matter how influential they are. The danger emerges when different powerful organizations find themselves in a common idea. Leo Strauss, the godfather of neoconservatism once wrote that fascism is the marriage between corporation and state, and I add a marriage with the blessings of (false) religion. Nazism was an example par excellence. Personally I tend to couple neocons with corporations.
    Today I doubt whether the neocons are behind the change in Trump’s behavior towards Syria although they surely approve. It’s more likely that Trump’s son in law had most influence.
    Throughout your story “The Saviour King” you’ve shown that man tried over and over again to achieve a glorious kingdom without the help and approval of God and time and again he failed. Here we have history that progresses in the same way but because we need someone to blame we take out the neocons and they are evil indeed, but we do this because it allows us to blame someone else and we can claim innocence and justice for ourselves. All kinds of organizations gather against God.
    PS I once read a zionist paper where the prophecy of Daniel is used to claim that their goal of a Great Israel is written down in the Bible and I must admit it was quite good.
    PPS it becomes quite obvious that neoconservatism as a partner of political Zionism has gained significant influence in the UK

    1. Hi GV,

      You said: “One more post that shows that your ideas are guided by hate towards socialism which through cherry picking you connect to neoconservatism (that’s why I linked your strategy to Dawkins’). Hate is a bad guide”.

      Extraordinary comment. I never once mentioned socialism in this piece, nor did I connect it to neoconservatism. I confess that I do loathe socialism, as it is a centralised system of coercive redistribution of wealth, whereas I believe in building local communities and voluntary distribution of wealth, but I fail to see where my hate for it came through in this article. By the way, I loathe corporatism as well.

      As for the idea that hate is a bad guide, that’s just nonsense. It depends what it is you’re hating. Do I hate socialists? No. Do I hate the system? Yes. Two different things. Do you not hate anything? Anything at all? Or are you guided by nothing but love for everyone and everything, which would of course include all sorts of odious ideologies?

      As for the idea of Greater Israel, etc, it is based on a false understanding of the Bible. There are millions of Christians out there that believe that the Jews are still part of God’s covenant. They are not (although I think Romans 11 indicates they will one day be grafted back in en masse). Jesus is the new Israel (see Isaiah 49 for example), and the Church is the true Jerusalem (see Galatians 4). God’s covenant is with Jesus and with those who join themselves to him. When Jews repent and accept Jesus as their Messiah, which is the basis of God’s covenant, then they are as much a part of it as anyone else. When they fail to repent and reject Jesus as their Messiah, they are as much out of it as anyone else, and have no better standing with God than any other Christ-rejecter. And yes, neoconservatism is allied with that view. It is essentially a false religion.

      And finally, I certainly do not attack the neocons because I need “to blame someone else so we can claim innocence and justice for ourselves.” I claim no innocence. I am a sinner just like them, but God has, through the death and resurrection of his Son, proclaimed me (and everyone else who does likewise), innocent. I hope that the neocons would find the same forgiveness. However, that certainly doesn’t stop me from pointing out their evil. On the contrary, I feel it is my duty to do so, especially as their false religion has been responsible, and still is responsible, for the needless deaths of many and the destabilising of various parts of the world.

      Best wishes,

      Rob

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